BS”D
Torah Reading: Tazria–Metzora
Address by Rabbi Alter Korf, Chabad of St. Petersburg
Bar Mitzvah of Avraham Dov Korf
We just finished building this Chabad center... and my son just finished his Bar Mitzvah preparation.
I want you to know—the building was easier.
This Bar Mitzvah... we’ve been working on it for 13 years.
Friends,
For the past 23 years, being your Rabbi and Rebbetzin here in St. Pete has brought us more joy and meaning than anything else we could imagine. Sharing in your simchas... your lives—and today, having you share in ours—it means everything to us.
2 hats
Today I let you into a very personal scheduling conflict I have with myself.
The rabbi in me wants to give a d'var Torah.
The father in me just wants to share my feelings.
I'll try to do both—but fair warning, the father is going to win.
On behalf of my wife Chaya, welcome to each and every one of you, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Thank you—truly—for being here with us today to celebrate this very special moment.
We are deeply touched to see so many dear friends and family here.
Owning a team
Many wise men have mused about the meaning of what happens at a Bar Mitzvah. Avremel, while you may be able to name every car on the road, you're still not getting the keys to my car anytime soon, so what is it really marking?
In the final analysis, a Bar Mitzvah boy comes to terms with the fact that he is more likely to own a Major league team than he is ever to play on one...
I, for one, disagree. Being a Jew today is playing in the Major Leagues, and let me tell you, Avremel—the stakes have never been higher for our people.
And that brings me to the parsha you so beautifully read, Parsha—Tazria–Metzora, and how perfectly it offers some reflections, as well as real guidance to you, Avremel.
The Torah opens with the words: "Isha ki tazria v'yalda zachar"—a woman conceives and gives birth to a son.
Now, if you look closely at that verse, you'll notice something. The mother comes first. Always.
Because it is the mother who shapes the child most deeply—her essence, her soul, her way of being in the world.
I look at Avremel today and I see his mother—her kindness, her heart, her strength.
Thank G-d for that. Because it means he got the best part of this family.
I want to say something that may surprise you. I actually think I am smarter than my wife.
Think about it—look who she married... and look who I married.
Chaya somehow managed to pull off this beautiful simcha—every detail, every moment—while being a Rebbetzin, teaching classes, organizing events, and raising our amazing children, all with grace and joy.
I could not be more fortunate.
And I know that her parents—who are here with us in spirit—would have been so proud. There is no doubt they would have loved nothing more than to be in this room today.
Back to our parsha...
At first glance, it sounds like a simple statement about childbirth, right?
But Chassidus teaches that this is much more than that. It speaks of a general paradigm: every project, every deed, every meaningful step in life goes through a process—first conception, then action.
Just like the development of a child, which takes nine months, some things in life happen quickly, while others take time... and then more time.
Take this building, for example. It began as an idea—a vision in its conception stage. It took years before it moved into action and became a reality... and even then, it continued to take time.
We all have ideas. Inspirations. Things we've been meaning to do—a project, a phone call, a good deed, a dream.
So let me ask you something and I want you to think honestly:
Out of every ten ideas a person has... how many do you think actually make it to reality?
A person wants to buy a car, start exercising, go on a diet. Most people have had those thoughts—but a large percentage never make it to reality.
The Torah is speaking broadly—about every good thing we might do.
And here’s what Chassidus points out:
“Isha ki tazria v’yalda zachar” from conception to birth, from idea to action… there’s almost no pause.
From beginning to action.
From inspiration to reality.
Because a good thought isn’t meant to stay a thought.
It’s meant to become something reality.
We all have those moments
“I should help…”
“I should call…”
“I should do something good…”
But too often, it stays there.
And the Torah is teaching us—don’t let it.
When something good enters your heart—act on it.
Inspiration is a call from Hashem, a call from the soul... it’s a seed being planted. Let it not be wasted.
A man goes to the doctor.
“Doctor, you’ve got to help me. I just can’t seem to get anything done. I keep putting things off, I have no motivation... it’s affecting my whole life.”
The doctor examines him, pauses, and says,
“I’m sorry to tell you this, but there’s nothing physically wrong with you... you’re just lazy.”
The man thinks for a moment and says,
“Okay, I hear that... but can you give me a more medical term for it? I need something I can tell my wife.”
The doctor nods and says,
“Of course. Tell her... you’re lazy.”
Bar Mitzvah, become a bar das not a Bar Sachel. Da'at is internalizing—connecting action on it.
Today you become a Bar Mitzvah—which means your actions matter. It means there is something at stake in the world that depends on you.
Your namesake, Avraham Dov, unlike the chasidim born in Russia, was “Made in the USA,” but had a zest for Yiddishkeit that was infectious. Most of all, he was a man of action—he was one for whom there was little to no delay from inspiration to action... and he did not deliberate and think what will people say to this American boy going to yeshiva wearing a beard... living a life of Judasim as it was in the shtetl in Europe.
And what gives me so much nachas is that this is already who you are.
As you were on a trip with your friends on the eve of your Bar Mitzvah, you stopped in at a Walmart to pick up something you were missing. I got a call from you—I thought perhaps you had a question about your Bar Mitzvah celebration, if someone picked up your suit from the cleaners... But no.
You said: "Totty, we are in Walmart, and as we were walking, someone said 'Shalom!' We asked if she was Jewish, and she is. I told her to call you, and gave her your number so she can learn more about Chabad and take part in her Jewish community."
That’s you Avremel.
Thinking about others, how to connect them to their heritage, even when it would be totally understandable for you to be engaged and busy with your friends.
Just this week, when we got our package of spotlight replacements for the house, you didn't wait to be asked, or hope someone else might come along to climb up on the ladder and switch out each light, you quickly figured it all out and had the house nice and bright in minutes.
I remember 3 years ago, all but 10 years old, and the cars lined up for the menorah parade. You said, “I got this,” and without fanfare or drama, you and Baruch had all 30 cars decked out with menorahs on it.
And I realized then something about you, from conception to action is just as the Torah points out, no delay.
You move quickly, smoothly with such grace and swiftness, ready to do a mitzvah, without lengthy deliberations.
You see the world does not lack inspiration and ideas. If everyone did what they conceived to or were inspired to, our world would already be perfect—it's that most times it gets stuck in the conception stage.
Avremel, recognize the bracha and strength you have and continue to build on it. Don’t let the lethargic attitude that sometimes pervades our world get to you.
You are always ready to come with me and visit people, to deliver matzah, to put up mezuzuot before Pesach to bring them shmurah matzah. Setting up the tent for the challah bake... the list goes on.
You don’t just think about making people happy—you go out of your way to bring a smile, with your humor, your warmth, your energy and your guitar.
You don’t just learn about mitzvot—you come with me to visit people, to put up mezuzahs, and now to help others put on tefillin.
So today isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about taking who you already are and stepping into it with responsibility.
To take those moments of inspiration and turn them into action.
Don’t overthink the good. When it’s right, just do it.
Because in Judaism, holiness isn’t found in ideas—it’s found in action.
Avremel, Hashem has given you a beautiful heart, a natural warmth, and a way of connecting to people that is very special.
Use it. When something good comes your way—act on it.
Bring it into the world.
Mazal Tov, Avremel.
We are so, so proud of you, and we love you so dearly.